Michael also drew graphic images of how he would harm himself and his family. And he threatened Beth that, if she had another baby, he would kill it.
She took his threats so seriously that she was sterilised , crushing her dreams of having another child.
Beth, 38, says: “Michael told me that if I ever had another baby, he would kill the baby, because I was his mother, and no-one else’s.
"I was at the end of my tether. It felt like nobody was helping me.
“I was even accused by one health worker of fabricating his symptoms, for attention.
“I had always wanted another baby; I would have loved a little girl. But I had to give up my dream because I genuinely think my son was capable of carrying out his threat.”
Michael, now 15, was finally diagnosed with autism and he attends a specialist school. He has a treatment programme and is happier and calmer.
Beth, from Cumbria, says: “I had to fight for 11 years to get a diagnosis for him and I was accused of being a bad parent along the way.
"I’ve been in fear of my own life – and his - to the point where I got sterilised. But now, we want to tell our story to make sure that other families don’t suffer like we did.”
Michael was a healthy, happy baby with no problems. His father had tragically died whilst Beth was pregnant, but she adjusted well to life as a single mum.
But Beth noticed problems when Michael was two years old. He would insist on a strict routine, and threw tantrums if anything was changed.
She says: “I just thought he was going through a bad case of the terrible twos. He was an only child and so I had nothing to compare him to.
“I mentioned it to my midwife who didn’t think it was serious.”
Beth says: “He would only wear specific types of clothes, and wouldn’t wear thick seams or rougher fabrics.
“Instead of sweets, Michael preferred to eat bath sponges. He would chew them for hours. He also dug a hole in the wall by his bed, and ate the concrete. The noise of the concrete, as he chewed, made him giggle.
“He didn’t sleep much at all and was on the go constantly.
“He didn’t settle well at school because he hated big spaces and high ceilings. It was so hard for him.
“He loved toy cars, he had over 500, yet he knew each one and he would colour code them all. He was obsessive.”
Beth pleaded with her GP for help and Michael was referred to a paediatrician and to counsellors. But one health official even accused her of making up his symptoms herself.
She says: “I began to question my own sanity. It was very hard.”
When Michael was eight years old, after a minor spat with his cousin, Beth found him lying on the kitchn floor, holding a knife to his throat.
Beth says: “I was horrified. I didn’t know what to do. Michael told me that he was evil and he didn’t belong down here on the earth any more.
“I was terrified but tried to stay calm, telling him how much I loved him. It took me half an hour to talk him into giving me the knife.”
Michael was referred to a children’s mental health team.
Soon after, Beth found Michael, at the top of the stairs, with a power drill at his throat.
Beth says: “Michael told me his head was broken and he’d had enough of feeling like that. It was horrific.”
Michael also began drawing graphic pictures which showed him harming himself and others.
Beth says: “I began to feel afraid for him but also of him. Michael told me that if I ever had another baby, he would kill the baby, because I was his mother, and no-one else’s.
“He said he would kill the baby, then me, then himself. I couldn’t take that chance. I knew how violent he could be – I could see the hate in his eyes – and I was scared.
“I really felt he might be capable of hurting a baby and so I was sterilised. I had to be sure. I’d had a couple of relationships, but they fizzled out, and after I was sterilised it was the final straw.
“I was giving up my own life, for Michael. But he was my son – and I just wanted to help him.”
Two years ago, Beth’s 11 year fight for her son was finally recognised and Michael was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome . He now has a programme of treatment and medication which has completely changed his outlook on life. He attends a special school part-time.
Beth says: “I knew Michael had Asperger’s but to hear it officially was a big relief.
“Things are so much better now. Michael no longer talks about hurting himself. His life isn’t perfect and he faces so many hurdles. But I feel secure now; I can go to sleep at night without worrying that he might be dead the next morning.
“We even share a laugh together and we’re much closer now.
“It’s been a horrendous ordeal, getting a diagnosis for him. Michael wants to tell his story because he wants to help other kids like him. We don’t want other families to feel alone and desperate, as we did.”
